When it comes to drama in my personal life, I can now say that I'm extremely allergic. I am really trying to avoid it like the plague. Now of course I can't always resist peeking inside other people's drama, however I'm limiting how much BS I take in because it's all too easy to get caught up. This goes for the Chris Brown-Rihanna ala Ike & Tina Turner mess. It brings up a lot of disgust on my part towards immature men, so I'm sure I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said.
Which leads me to this single mother Nadya Suleman who just gave birth to Octuplets and already had 6 kids in tow. They really should do a psychological evaluation before they let any ol' body have kids in that way. And here she is raising the ire of taxpaying citizens over her planned single motherhood and I can't say I blame them. I mean really if you can't afford the six you already have, how the heck are you going to go and have 8 more? How will she be able to provide 14 kids with the love, nourishment, time, energy, and supplies they will need? She says she had all these kids because she wanted someone to love and love her, geez don't we all, but what a totally selfish and unrealistic way of going about it. She's the last person I want as the poster child for single mothers! Although I guess we can't knock her hustle, she's got a website taking donations and trying to get a tv show and we can probably bet, the heffa will get a book deal sooner or later.
M.I.A. was in her full term pregnant glory tonight at the Grammy Awards and it was f-ing awesome. It was in fact the highlight of the evening to see her performing alongside T.I., Lil Wayne and JayZ on her baby's due date in a see-through, unapologetic outfit. Comments on my Twitter/Facebook feeds ranged from 'disgusting' to heartfelt praise. Sure the outfit was a tad on the ridiculous side, but I wholeheartedly support outlandish imagery from a hip mama-to-be. You Go M.I.A. for showing that you can be pregnant and still have swagger! I love it and it's exactly sumthing I would've done (if I had a hit record....)
I believe that means it's going to be a good year.
Gung Hay Fat Choy! Today is the Chinese Lunar New Year, the new moon is here and the opportunity to have a new beginning. As women, I believe we always like to have the chance to start over, leave the past behind us and move forward with new hope, courage and conviction that we can do something greater with our time on this Earth. Women who don't see that chance or possibility, well, all I can say is good luck... that's not much of an existence. I don't believe in being resigned to any situation or being a victim of your circumstances, you can choose to be master (mistress) of your destiny by appropriately enough... taking the bulls by the horn, this being Year of the Ox and all.
The ox is a strong, hardworking animal so according to Chinese predictions, that is what each individual will have to follow to make it through the year. I don't mind this so much since I tend to be a hard worker when I'm ready, and best believe I am ready. I am so focused on really putting in the work to advance myself and my son forward and I'm predicting that this year will be laying a lot of the ground work for that.
On another note, today I spent Chinese New Year's at my son's Montessori school and it was a great experience. I thought I was really going in there just to share some of our culture with the kids, but it actually was a cathartic moment for me. As I prepared a few Chinese (vegetarian of course) dishes for the class this morning, I was thinking about how my parents never participated in my education in this way. I came from the old school of teachers teach and parents parent and they do their jobs separately. They had no idea or desire to know what a PTA was. I was mostly expected to just go to school, listen to the teachers, hit the books and come back with good grades. Now as I parent, I get to be involved with my son's education and actually make contributions to his and the other kids in his class and it made me feel really good. Oh and I love, love, love my son's school. I am so glad I chose Montessori and I am so very glad I chose them. I love my son's transformation he's gone through in just 5 short months of starting school and how much knowledge he's gained. It really made me look at him and myself in a different light... like we are doing it. F a struggle, me and the lil man are accomplishing things and holding it down. I mean, I guess, not that I didn't think we would.... but it's great to be able to sit back and soak up what's going on around you and feel....accomplished instead of stressed. Again with the choices... Today I choose to see the good and not get overwhelmed with everything else.
I must admit, I'm a little jealous of the First Family or more
specifically Michelle Obama... damn if she doesn't just have a picture
perfect family (and a damn hot husband/most powerful man in the world). I joke, I think she is soooo Fabulous and I hope we all can take notes... mainly choosing partners of quality, being independent, passionate, capable and intelligent in our own right, taking our motherhood serious and not for nothing: keeping ourselves together and fashion forward. There still are and will be a lot of ills in American society, however I look forward to seeing this family hold it down and show us how it's done. Meanwhile, let's hold Obama to pushing universal health care through, a respectful foreign policy, a greener environment, a stronger focus on education, a stimulus package for the economy that works, etc etc. Also if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem, so let's get out there, get involved, mobilize and activate. Even if it's a small action, it's better than doing nothing at all. "Together the ants will conquer the elephant."
I don't look anything remotely like Beyonce, however my stomach has definitely gone down.... of course, why wouldn't it. I've been surviving off of the lemon, water, maple syrup, cayenne pepper concoction and peppermint green tea for 7 days. And let me tell you, it has been no picnic. Generally in the day I feel fine, like I can do this, but around 5pm, my mind starts screaming 'are you stupid? eat some food!' It's truly been a test of my will power and dedication. Still, I really don't think I could do a cleanse like this one ever again, next time it will be a juice fast, at least I will feel like I'm getting some nutrients and fiber. Meanwhile, I'm closing out this week and turning to juice and soup so I can gradually return to doing what I love best....eating. Then it's on to the 'Slim in 6' dvd workout series, yeh i'm like a walking infomercial, but if it's worked for other people, I'm willing to try it. I am absolutely determined to get my best pre-baby body back which I haven't seen in oh say almost a decade? It's part of the Hustlemama Manifesto to stay looking fly inside and out, so as a member and a leader, I'm putting my money where my mouth is.
10 days no food. 10 days just lemons, water, maple syrup, cayenne pepper. 10 days of some serious will power, determination and introspection.
Ummm in 10 days will my body look like Beyonce's? She did it for 14 days allegedly before her role in 'Dreamgirls' and lost 20 lbs. Well, you can't be mad at a mama for dreaming that she will be able to fight the hands of time, effects of childbirth, gravity, a serious love of good food and good wine and lack of energy to make it to the gym. While I don't think it's going to make me shed that much weight, I do think it's going to help kickstart the weight loss, detoxify my body and break my cravings. After the cleanse, it's on to the 'Slim in 6' workout... you better believe I'ma be back to my old midriff bearing self some day soon (ok well maybe in an age appropriate, I'm a mommy kind of way....)
I can't pretend to be the most knowledgeable on wars, especially of the religious kind, however I can't stand by any aggressor occupying land and oppressing and killing the original inhabitants. Doesn't matter if it's Tibet, Palestine, or the United States of America... it's just not right. The death toll in the Gaza Strip is up nearly 300 and counting, not to mention the impending crisis... According to CNN:
"Gaza is headed for "a major humanitarian disaster" unless the
fighting ends soon, said Dr. Eyad El-Sarraj, a psychiatrist who runs
Gaza's mental health program.
He described people huddling in their basements for safety as bombs fell.
"The children are terrified," he said. "Adults are unable to provide
them with security or warmth. Hospitals are stretched out of the
limits. We need blood and medicine and surgical equipment."
Christopher Gunness, a spokesman for the U.N.
Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian Refugees (UNRWA), said the
agency has been unable to get needed medical supplies into Gaza for
more than a year, because of Israel's blockade of border crossings."
It's a new year... Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and everyone else... can't we all just get along. Live and let live.
2008 is just about over and I had to take a little time to reflect.
The year 2008 marked my 'official' entry into single motherhood and it all
hasn't been all sad and scary like I may have imagined. Quite the
contrary, I have to say that the calm, drama free, simple year I
experienced was far better than feeling trapped and unhappy in a roller
coaster ride situation. In 2008, I learned I do have the strength and
ability to hold it down all on my own. In 2008, we elected a Black
president who represents I think for most of us what we would like to
see not only in a leader, but a partner as well: a global perspective,
power without abuse, genuine participation, love and respect for his
wife and kids, sensitivity, intelligence, responsibility, stability and
on and on. In 2008, we saw one of the worst economic crisis in US
history. Sadly most people will probably be feeling the fallout in the
years to come, however many of us have been living pretty bare bones
lately so sometimes it doesn't feel like it makes that much of a
difference.
In 2008, my son Bo made the milestones of talking, going to school full time and finally weaning. Today, in fact, on Xmas Day, he gave me a hug, a kiss and a big 'bye,' as he went off with his daddy without a fuss. I
thought to myself 'wow he's really a boy now, not a baby.' It left me
to a day of my own reflection, taking back in some quiet, alone time to
myself. I admit, I felt a little lost without my routine with Bo, but
I think it's always necessary for us mamas to be able to function
independently, as much as it is for them to do as well. When he came
home, he was excited to see his mommy again, and ran right in without
saying so much as goodbye to his daddy. (lol...he's still MY baby). I
finally feel as if I'm no longer an overwhelmed, sleep deprived, new
mother and have moved into a more mature, steady phase. It's also
feeling like the right time to give birth to my new baby, my
business(es). I've been holding out for this moment when Bo doesn't
need me as much and I can devote a little more time and energy
towards new ventures. So I'm doing interviews, writing and organizing
my thoughts so they all can become a reality rather than just ideas
I've been incubating for the last year and a half. Achieving motherhood has turned my
biological time clock off so that I can put my attention back towards a
career in something I'm passionate about. Single motherhood also means that I am
required to value and love myself and in turn attract more healthy
people and situations than I have in the past. It also
provides immediate motivation to strive for something better because
you want to be able to
offer your child a richness in experience and opportunity. Knowing you
are solely responsible for that happening really lights a fire under
your ass, so to speak.
On another note, I saw a great movie today at the Angelika (also
showing at BAM) which I think y'all should catch if u can: "Slumdog
Millionaire." It's set in India and is an entertaining story of love,
truth, integrity and triumph over poverty and corruption. I enjoyed it
so much because these are the principles I want to embody in 2009 and
beyond and I love when you see a movie with a message at the right
time. I am also reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" and soaking up his lessons of moving away from an
ego-centered life to one of higher conscience and purpose. I know a
lot of us who are no longer with our child's father suffer from a
multitude of issues that led to dysfunctional relationships and/or
situations, but I'm really holding on to the belief that we can heal,
move past it and succeed greater than we ever imagined. It's really
just about doing the work, the knowledge, letting go of
the past and claiming your dreams. It's also about enjoying the
present moment regardless of what you have or don't have, because no
matter what, you are blessed with necessities, health, and the love of
your
child. Imagine yourself without those things and you'll know what I
mean. I'm also re-training my thought, that the answer to all my
problems isn't just money, a new car, a better apartment or a new man
for that matter. My major goals this year are to stop obsessing about
money, focusing on doing things I love and am good at,
as well as maintaining the belief that as long as we have a roof over
our heads,
clothes on our backs, food on the table, the ability to roll with
change, along with love and courage in our hearts, we have everything
we need and then some. I feel like whatever else will follow. In 2008,
I have officially surrendered to the Universe, and am opening up to my
destiny.
I hope this holiday season is a great one for you and yours. And here's to '09... when everything will be just fine :).
My totally awesome, super dope tattoo artist, Marco Serio created this artwork for for a benefit for his friend's son who was
diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. The medallion around her neck
says "Golden", his son's name, and she is a goddess that in Japanese
mythology looks after children.
If you are ever in the NYC market for tattoos, please don't go to any cheezy or sleazy spot.... check out Invisible NYC in the Lower East side: and ask for Marco!
