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I Never Knew Catharsis Was So Messy!

I've been going through this process of catharsis, a reclamation of my physical and emotional space following the long overdue split with my son's father. Most of it has been through reading for pleasure (what a concept!) and personal development, as well as doing more things that I enjoy, both alone and with my son. Here are a couple of environmental changes to date...

First things first, cover the tattoo of ex's name with a meaningful piece of art by a great tattoo artist. So, yeah... about that ... remember the quote all those moms of wild teenagers used to say on Jerry Springer type shows, "I was young, dumb and full of cum." That pretty much sums it up right there. Anyways, this step in Operation Catharsis was relatively easy, I mean what brings you back to reality more than pain. I also highly recommend my artist, Dana Helmuth at Brooklyn Adorned, I'm the only one who seems able to identify the ghost of my baby daddy's name underneath the artwork, which is fitting, given he'll haunt my life for the rest of eternity. Ce la vie.

Now, I'm onto upgrading my kitchen in my hoodtastic one bedroom. I hassled my super for months and he finally sent someone in to put tile behind my stove and around the window (the paint was chipping and peeling, so I threatened to start writing letters about lead poisoning). Julio the fix it man helped me repaint the kitchen, the old color was a truly abusive hue of yellow, I mean it really slapped you in the face when you walked in, not to mention my former fix it man was on that shit, so he didn't do the best paint job (and forget about paying him before the job was done, he was halfway to the the "spot" before you could say cocaina). Now my kitchen is a welcoming, cozy shade of yellow with sparkling tile all around the cooking area.

Next step, make cabinets less scary. I live in the Bronx, while I have very few problems, roaches are  part of life. I stopped going into the far recesses of the cabinets to avoid them, but Dammit, this is MY house (as long as I keep paying my rent), so, I decided to seal and paint my cabinets myself. I'm not sure what I was thinking. So far, I've spent two nights removing cabinet doors and fixtures. The contents of my kitchen now spread out between my living room, hallway, oven and refrigerator. It's a disaster. Actually, I'm blogging right now to avoid my kitchen. I've been wracking my brain to try and figure out when I'll have the fucking time to finish sanding and painting all the cabinets PLUS have time for them to dry.

...I'll figure it out though, cuz I'm a Hustlemama and we make shit happen. That's just what we do...

Now where the HELL is the super? He's supposed to come fix my washing machine?

UPDATE: Julio the fix it man just arrived at 9pm, he is fixing the washer AND he and I worked out a deal so he could paint the cabinets. Thank you Universe, you are good to me.

The Greatest F***ing City to Be Poor... in the summer

I am always broke. I make good money, oh, but I have bills, loans, rent, A KID. It all shortly disappears sometime between when I get paid and when I get paid again. I really DO try to save money. Anyways, the point of writing this post is to talk about why NYC is the best place live as a broke mommy- at least in the summer months.

Reason #1- You will never starve
Where else can you eat the best street food for a couple bucks... ? In my neighborhood you get pastelitos for $1 a piece, there's a taco truck with delicious, fresh food for as little as $2.50, the best pizza next to Italy for about $2. So, you won't starve AND the food can be good too. Ok, yes, I know its not the BEST food FOR YOU, but damn if it doesn't get us through until I can afford to buy organic produce at the coop again.

Reason #2- There's always something to do or somewhere to go that is FREE
Most attractions in the City have "free" days, which usually suck because they're so crowded. But most of the time you know somebody, who knows somebody that has free passes to whatever, so you go- art gallery, museum, zoo, music, etc. During the summer there are limitless playgrounds and water parks to take your kid to, music and performances in public parks throughout the City. K and I went to the Hip Hop Festival, the pool, hiking in a NYC Park, watched free outdoor movies, ran through sprinklers, etc. There's so much to do, that I have an excuse for my house being a mess because we're never in it.

Reason #3- Knock offs are just as fabulous sometimes
This is the reality of NYC, very few are really well off or even comfortable. I don't know anyone here who is not living beyond their means and paying an absurd amount of money on rent (other than me, because I live in a rent stabilized apartment in the Boogie). To ease the pain of our briggety brokeness and satisfy our thirst for being fresh, we have discount stores with designer flair. The tourists don't know about Pay Half and Conways- and whatever you see a designer come out with, I guarantee you can find "it" in the hood within weeks to days. Unless you're trying to hang with Upper East side LV rockin' bitches, no ones going to hate on your designer knock off digs. Even better, pair some knock off shit with your real shit.

Reason #4- The Metrocard
I have this nifty little deal through work where they deduct my metrocard fees pre tax and they provide me with my all access NYC pass every month. As long as I have my metrocard I can go to the beach, the bar, the park, shopping, one of my friends' houses to eat and cry, whatever the heck you want to do within the 5 boros. Just be prepared to ride depending on where you want to go...

Reason #5- There's always someone who's s*** is more f***ed than yours
Ok, so this is NOT how you're supposed to view the world. But, sorry, I get down about the fact that I have 10's of thousands of dollars of debt to my name, little money in my account, am raising kid alone and slaving at my job. But... there's always something around to remind you that you got it good and to be thankful for all the little bit of fortune you've got.

Ok, so I got my main 5 reasons down, what about you? Anything you love about being broke in NYC? Look out for my future post, "Why I f***ing Hate Winter in NYC."

Allow me to reintroduce myself....

My name is Michelle and I am a recovering procrastinator and a mother. It's been a rough year... I became a true single mother and let me tell ya, it's been A LOT.  As you can see every month for the last 6 months I've wanted to really do something with this blog and just haven't been able to manage to be consistent.  But this is another Hustlemama lesson:  try, try, try and try again... eventually you will get it right.  DON'T EVER GIVE UP!  And please don't count me out... I have lofty dreams of turning this site into something much larger than what it is.  I want it to have a life of its own where mommies like my beloved Hustlemamas can tune in and have an innovative and creative online space of their own. 

Enter in my new blogging compadre who will be helping me out in this mission.  I will let her introduce herself as she navigates her way through the bloggy blog world.  Together we're going to bring something new to the mommy game, something that may destroy your notions of what and who a woman and mother is and can be.  All that being said, let the games begin...