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Bribery: A means to an end...

Call me a politician.  I've discovered the tricks of the mommy trade and what things will get my son to do just about anything...

#1:  CHIPS... potato chips, corn chips, taro chips, tings, veggie bootie, tortilla chips... anything he thinks is a 'chip' (even a cracker might do) this kid will stop his crying, end a tantrum, move when he's supposed to... if he's made to believe there's a bag of chips as a reward somewhere.  Don't sleep on Robert's American Gourmet "Tings" (think Cheetos without the cheese and fortified with nutritional yeast) and "Veggie Booty"... positively addictive!

#2:  VITAMINS.. ok this one I'm not mad at, except for the fact that you really can overdose them.  Still, for his daily allotment, he'll do a dance.  I think he thinks they are candy.  Hopefully I'm not setting any sort of precedent for a pill popping future...

#3:  PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES:  better yet, anything with wheels.  It's crazy how no matter how hard you try to be non-gender specific, boys gravitate towards machinery and girls towards dolls.  Now mind you, my son does also push around his mini-McClaren stroller with Spiderman in it, much to the protest of machismo babydaddy (to which I answered:  well my son is going to know this is what men have to do too).  Still, if I give him a car or Thomas train to hold, that will pretty much give me at least 90 seconds of peace.

#4: BOX JUICE:  no not juice in his sippy cup, but a straw and a box of juice that comes with characters on it, preferably Elmo or Cookie Monster.  Turns his nose at fresh juice I make with my beloved juicer, but dammit he'll get his act right on for a box juice.

You can imagine all the supplies I have to carry in my bag to get out in the world with him and minimize the number of incidents and/or threats occuring.

I don't care if she is a Mom...

She scares me.

If McCain gets elected....
Mumbai or bust?

Things that make you say hmmm...

These are just some random questions that have been floating through my head lately...

1) Is there a Babydaddy Handbook where they learn all their tricks, scripts, and irrational/irresponsible behavior from?

2) Will Sarah Palin's pregnant teen daughter have a shotgun wedding? (And is her babydaddy kicking himself right about now?)

3) Don't you just want to give Palin and Cindy McCain a damn makeover? Someone tell them the Stepford Wife look sucks... (Go Michelle Obama!)

4)  The Republican National Convention look like a good ol boys gathering.... do they even let people of color in there?

5) Who knew as a Mother that the highlight of my day would be seeing my son $hit in the toilet?! 

DESPERATE ELECTIONS... time to think about an exit plan

The eerie parallels between network t.v. and our government once again begs the question... does life imitate [so called] art, or does [said] art imitate life?

Okay... seriously? Rumors are going around that the GOP VP candidate potentially FAKED her pregnancy to cover up her daughters... it doesn't get better than this. Its like Desperate Housewives meets CNN. But NOW her daughter is actually pregnant.

So, where should I move? I'm thinking Montreal, France, Italy, Mumbai, anywhere but here really.

I'm just so fucking annoyed with this election. On one hand, I'm like, dude, there is NO WAY the idiots in this country are stupid enough to elect these crazies... yet almost 4 years ago, 6 days after my son was born, Bush was re-elected. I said the SAME thing then. But let's just say for a minute that the idiots in this country aren't stupid enough to put these crazies in office... have we stood back and looked at the magnitude of shit that Obama would have to wade through to try and make some sense out of this mess? I'm truly, truly scared for him- and his family, for that matter. I mean really, wouldn't it be fitting that when a person of color finally makes it into office, that he's set up with an impossible challenge, inevitable failure?

Man, I just have too much anxiety to pay too much attention to the elections. I start crying when I think about the profound impact that Obama could have on our lives- on my SON'S life more than anything. I think of the potential collective self-esteem boost for young Black boys across the country. Some days it's just too heavy to believe in the possibility. I'm afraid if I let myself get swept up in Obama-mania, that I'll start to expect something from him that is bigger than he can produce (HI, can we ID some issues for couch talk here?). So, as is my nature with any emotionally overcharged situation, I feel compelled to make plans, pack up and leave...

...which brings me back to my original question, where should I go?